


I Just Rolled My Eyes So Hard I Think I Saw My Brain

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cristiano and Neymar get sick. Leo tries to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Rolled My Eyes So Hard I Think I Saw My Brain

**Author's Note:**

> A drabble, yay <3

"Leo I need another blanket."

"Leoo, can you please rub my feet?"

"Leooo I need a tissue."

"Leoooo my snot is green, why is my snot green, Leo?"

"Leooooo?"

"Leoooooo!"

"Leooooooo!!"

"JESUS CHRIST I'M COMING, JUST WAIT A MINUTE!"

Cristiano was splayed out on the floor of Leo's living room with Neymar cuddled up against his side.

They were sick or "sick" as Leo liked to say.

They both had colds, nothing more, but to them it was the end of the world.

They were lucky Leo loved them as much as he did, or he definitely wouldn't be putting up with there shit right about now.

He wasn't a good cook, but he was pretty sure he could handle making chicken noodle soup, so he ladled some into bowls and made his way back into the living room.

"Up, my babies, you need to eat."

Both men groaned.

"Now Cris, Ney." and they sat up begrudgingly.

"What is that?" Cristiano asked, arching his eyebrow.

"Uh soup." Leo responded, looking at him quizzically. "Chicken noodle soup."

"Smells like ass." Neymar mumbled under his breath. Cristiano bit his lip as not to laugh.

"It smells fine." Leo reamed. "Just eat it."

"D'you make it from scratch?" Cristiano question. He stuck his finger into the broth and licked it. "Ah! Too much salt."

Neymar huffed. "Yeah, then he definitely made it from scratch." 

"Seriously? I'm nice enough to cook you something and you're going to shit all over it?"

"You're right. We're sorry." Cristiano acknowledged, throwing an arm around Neymar. "He slaved away in the kitchen for us, Ney. We should be grateful."

"Oh I am." Neymar urged, but anyone with eyes could he was suppressing his laughter. "I just don't think we need food poisoning on top of everything else."

Leo took a deep breath. "Just. Eat it."

"Okay, okay." Both men conceded. They slurped their soup noisily.

"See, it's not that bad." Leo said, watching them both happily. 

"Mmmm Leo, something doesn't feel right." Cristiano whined, rubbing at his stomach.

"Yeah me too." Neymar whimpered. "I think I might - I think I need to -" He stood up and ran off to the washroom. Leo could hear him vomiting from the living room.

"Gross." Cristiano stuttered. He'd turned a frightening shade of white and was pouring with sweat.

"Cris, are you alri -"

"Hold that thought." Cristiano interrupted as he ran off towards the washroom to join Neymar. The gagging noises the Portuguese man was making were repulsive and seemed to make Neymar hurl even more which in turn made Cristiano continue his heaving as well. 

You couldn't pay Leo to go in there.

"You two okay?" He asked, putting the dishes in the skin.

"Oh my God Leo, it's everywhere!"

"Cris got puke in my hair, Leo. It's in my fucking hair."

"Hey! Don't blame me. I'm not the one that poisoned us!"

"Well we knew he couldn't cook. Why'd we eat it in the first place?!"

"I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!" Leo barked, ladling himself some soup. 

He put a spoonful of the broth into his mouth and swallowed and ...

"Oh."

It tasted the way gym socks smelled. It was fucking disgusting.

"I'm not saying I made you sick or anything ..." Leo called out, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves and tying a rag over his nose. He took out the mop and bucket and some disinfectant and walked towards the bathroom. Cristiano and Neymar were huddle up on the bathroom floor and they looked terrible.

"... but I definitely didn't help." 


End file.
